The goal of this newsletter is to provide encouragement and resources that will help you sustain a lifelong marriage with Christ at the center.

Years ago, when I was counseling couples in private practice, I would regularly hear complaints like, "Things aren't like they were before", "It's not like it was at the beginning", and "I just don't feel the way I used to". While these sentiments were meant to convey that the perceived excitement and romance of the marriage had diminished over time, they also revealed misplaced expectations about the healthy trajectory of a real-life relationship.

In Philippians 3:13b-14, Paul describes his attitude toward the past in a way that hints at how we might meet this challenge in our own marriages: "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize . . . ".  For Paul, winning the prize meant living in the power and freedom of Christ's resurrection, but I think we can apply his approach to the day-to-day with our spouses as well.

In sum — when it comes to your marriage — don't waste time trying to get back to what was. Push forward and take new ground!  With God's grace, things shouldn’t be like they were when you first met: they will be even better because you’ve hiked the mountains and valleys of life as a team. Your marriage won't be like it was at the beginning: you will grow, mature, celebrate shared joys, and survive countless tests together by building your lives on the strong foundation of God’s word. And you won't feel the way you used to: you'll have a deep and growing appreciation for and commitment to your partner that nothing and no one can alter.

May we all keep our eyes — not on what lies behind — but on the prize that lies ahead, and press on toward the goal of a life of joyful intimacy with our spouse . . . and our Savior!

Michele Moore
CCC Marriage Ministry Director

In this section, we introduce you to CCC couples seeking to glorify God by sharing what they’ve learned in marriage.

Q: What would you say is one key to a lifelong, healthy marriage?

A: Always make your own personal pursuit, growth, and relationship with God first and foremost — then the pursuit, growth, and relationship with each other second. If children are part of your marriage — never put your relationship with them above that with your spouse.

Q: What has God taught you about His design for marriage — individually or as a couple?

A: Just as Jesus loves his church and gave himself up for her, and the church has been called to submit to his God-given leadership, so should the relationship between a husband and wife be. This can be a difficult calling to practice and live out for both parties, but when we do, our very lives become a picture of the gospel to everyone we encounter.

Q: What have you learned about how to successfully negotiate conflict?

A: Good communication is absolutely essential. The “silent treatment” — or continuing to argue — will never actually resolve a conflict. Sitting down together with an attitude of humility, sorrow, and repentance will go a long way towards resolving the issue. It’s never easy to hear your spouse talk about ways you were wrong or have messed up — (especially when you are sitting there thinking about all the ways they have been wrong or messed up) -- but when we do this, we come out on the other side together, and even stronger!

CONGRATULATIONS to the most recent graduates of our Re|Engage marriage study! Led by Bill & Krista McKellip, the group spent 14+ weeks studying what God’s word has to say about marriage and enjoying some fun nights out on the town (as demonstrated during a recent axe-throwing escapade). A new spring running of Re|Engage has now begun and we’re excited to see how He continues to work through this program to draw more couples closer to Him and one another!