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Growing up, my mother would often tell us that it was better to be well than right. I think she was mostly speaking to herself in the context of choosing peace within her marriage and extending grace to my father, but her words have stuck with me over the years and I think there is truth in her advice. Proverbs 15:1 tells us that “a gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath.” Jesus corrected and chastised Peter on the subject of forgiveness in the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18:21-35), explaining that while we as sinful humans sometimes view forgiveness and relationships in a transactional sense, God views forgiveness primarily as a heart issue. I think Jesus expands on this forgiveness-heart connection in Luke 7:47, where He points out that a right understanding of how we have been forgiven by God radiates outward in both love for God and love and forgiveness towards others. Consider this: what will it cost you to stay in peace with your spouse and forego the snarky comeback you are pretty sure will win the argument but wound your spouse? The answer? Nothing! Kindness usually costs us nothing, and choosing kindness with our spouse is a small price to pay for peace within our relationships. After all, they probably choose to be well instead of right with you more often than you know.
~ Justin Oliver, CCC Elder
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