The goal of this newsletter is to provide encouragement and resources that will help you sustain a lifelong marriage with Christ at the center.

“Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” – Mark 10:43-45

“…remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” – Acts 20:35b

Jesus’ life defied expectations. While many were looking for a conquering king, he came as a humble servant that willingly laid down his life. Similarly, many of his teachings took worldly wisdom and flipped it on its head — and while they are broadly applicable to all our relationships, they can particularly guard against what a more secular expectation of a happy marriage might be.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we are most satisfied in our marriages when we are getting everything that we want from our spouse. Our natural inclination is to first focus on our own needs and desires, but to do so is to miss out on a greater blessing. To take Jesus at his word is to believe that it is better to serve than to be served. Contrary to what the world may think, I get the most out of my marriage when I give the most of myself.

What does that practically look like in our marriages? It can take many forms. It can be as simple as waking up early to make the morning coffee or to get the kids ready while your spouse gets a few more moments of rest. Maybe it means taking on the household chore that our spouse despises the most. Perhaps it means forgoing time on personal hobbies to spend time together in intentional conversation. The specifics will vary for each couple, but I am confident that we will always find ways to serve our spouses when we honestly seek them. May we pursue greater blessings in our marriages by seeking to give of ourselves and serve one another.

Dane Apsher
CCC Elder

In this section, we introduce you to CCC couples seeking to glorify God by sharing what they’ve learned in marriage.

Q: What is your ‘marriage mission’? Why do you think God brought you together?

A: We have been involved in and/or leading small groups together since 2011, before we even started dating! We love providing a space for Christians to be welcomed, supported, and challenged in their daily lives to follow Jesus. We are passionate about equipping other small group leaders as well — walking with them through the challenges of leading small groups and celebrating their victories.

Q: What habits have you developed to stay connected throughout the week?

A: In the last 6 months, we’ve started setting aside time for a once-a-week devotion and prayer time together. This has been a game changer for us in this season of 3 girls under the age of 4 and something we wish we had done a lot sooner.

Q: What have you learned about how to successfully negotiate conflict?

Danielle: I’ve learned to spend time praying and seeking God first before approaching Kyle with something. Usually this means being convicted about my own role in the conflict and starting the conversation with an apology and a repentant heart. Kyle is likely to respond better to that than a list of all the things he is doing wrong. ;)

Kyle: There’s no waiting it out or a “do nothing” option. Praying for the Lord’s view of the situation is critical, as is approaching Danielle with compassion and humility. Marriage conflict has to be viewed as a side-by-side shared endeavor to peacefully and gracefully address the situation. I also find it valuable to express perceived feelings and compare them against what was actually intended. I try to ask the Holy Spirit for a heart of forgiveness before addressing the conflict so I am prepared to seek resolution.

re|engage is a 16-week small group experience for couples of all ages and stages that includes Bible study, date nights, get-togethers, and other activities designed to encourage fresh intimacy with Christ and your spouse. Here is a short testimonial from someone who just completed the most recent re|engage group at CCC!

“Going through re|engage gave us the tools and perspective we needed to reconnect with each other on a deeper level. It helped us grow — not only in our marriage, but also in our faith and understanding of true connection. We now feel more united, supported, and hopeful for the future than ever before.” ~ J.A.

If you’re interested in joining our upcoming re|engage group this fall, reach out to group leaders Bill or Krista McKellip (775-777-4666) to be added to the contact list. You can also click here to learn more about re|engage from couples who have completed it.